facades
Sunday, June 27, 2010
9:06 PM
i feel so ridiculously stupid, for actually reading your blog for so fucking long.
i cant believe i read it for so long.
i feel like laughing at myself.
--it hurts.
Friday, June 25, 2010
10:58 PM
IT HURTS.
DAMN YOU. DAMN YOU. FUCK.
IT FUCKING HURTS.
WHY, WHY DOES IT HURT.
WHY THE FUCK DO I FEEL LIKE CRYING.
DAMNIT.
I DON'T LIKE HOW YOU SMS HER.
I DONT LIKE HOW YOU'RE SO CLOSE TO HER.
I DONT LIKE EVERYTHING.
BUT I WAS THE ONE THAT STOPPED SMSING YOU FIRST.
BUT, I WAS THE ONE THAT WANTED TO STOP THIS.
FUCK THIS.
but it hurts.
it really does.
i don't want to cry.
but the tears.
are falling.
it hurts.
No more.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
10:40 AM
Why do i feel like crying.
No more tears i said, but the fact that you didn't even tag me in the note, pains me.
I don't know why, i said that i've given up.
Have i not?
Perhaps, but it really, pains me.
I want this no more.
Sometimes i wonder why do i even bother.
No more.
Even the tinest bit of hope i had, faded away.I deserve it.
____-less
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
4:24 PM
So perhaps, i'm alone.
all alone. in this world, stranded, on a place filled with faces i recognise, yet unwilling to call out to. so perhaps, i'm friend-less.
the only one i cling on to, doesn't seem real after all.
then i turn, to look left, and right.
I'm alone.
I refuse, damn my own pride, i dont want to know how much you have fun without me. arn't best friends suppose to be happy for one another, so perhaps, i haven't found that one true friend.
meaning-less cliques and i love you-s.
cliques, you have fun with them, and at the end of the day, you realise, none of them are true friends you cling on to while you're about to drown.
why do people say 'i love you' when they don't mean it.
or perhaps they do. perhaps, i don't know.
i'm guilty of that, but not anymore, i'm not going to say i love you anymore.
well, only to heechul perhaps, will i say i love you, because i truly love him.
even if he don't know me.and of course, my family, as much as they annoy me at times. i love them.
friends are meaning-less.
so i wonder when, will i find my true friend.
It's time.
Monday, June 21, 2010
9:44 PM
New blog; new start.
I dont think anyone would find out about this blog though.
I give up on my previous blog.
Really, i mean, i was a total bitch there, yet i don't want to delete it, too much memories written there.
Well, apart from being a bitch, i was happy being a bitch in the past.
My posts were, were happy.
And it should be like that once again.
Too much tears, too much sadness.
Let's put all those aside and start studying for real.
I need those grades even though I don't know what im actually studying for.
I need it.
But, what about you?
time to let go :)
it was wrong from the start in the first place.
When school reopens, its time.
Time to start anew.
Let's smile everyday.
No more tears.